


The Eno Diaries pt I

by Brian_Eno



Category: U2
Genre: M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 01:11:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6401821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brian_Eno/pseuds/Brian_Eno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrenched my eyes from his soft lips and looked up into his glistening eyes. A single tear slid down his nose like a child on a water slide as he uttered the nine fateful words. “Brian…Brian I think I’m in love with you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Eno Diaries pt I

**Author's Note:**

> An excerpt from my diary which I have recently adapted into a narrative though it remains entirely factually accurate, 10th June 1992 –Brian Eno

It was a chilly evening in Stockholm. The wind slapped wetly against the windows in the foyer of the hotel. My lips were moist. I licked the moistness off them with my tongue as I headed to the lift, nodding politely at the lady at reception as I went. I pressed the button of my room’s floor number and waited for the elevator doors to close before turning to admire my reflection in the mirror. My hair looked particuarly dashing that night.

The doors opened with a ding and I set off to my room, suitcase trundling obediently behind me. My ears were ringing after the gig, Bono’s screams still drifting through my naughty mind. I smiled to myself as I unlocked the door to my lair.

                                                                                                                          ~

It was about midnight when the phone rang. I jumped in fright and pulled my tights back on with haste, irrationally afraid the unknown caller could see my pale legs and other body parts. Once I was more clothed I snatched up the phone, brushing the Ferrero Rocher wrappers off my bedside table.

“Hello?”

“Brian!” The voice was unmistakeably Bono, slightly rough after all the singing and whatnot. I could hear some banging disco tracks in the background which unfortunately didn’t have the ambience nor radical soundscapes of my own creations. Bono continued, “Everyone was so shattered after the show but we decided to go into town and have a laugh anyway. Wanna come join us?”

I looked down at my tightly tighted legs. They were not protected sufficiently from the crispy Swedish air.

“Sure Bono, I’ll be along in a tick. Just let me slip into something more comfortable.”

I thankfully managed to restrain my cackles until after he had hung up.

                                                                                                                           ~

 Upon entering it, I wasn’t surprised in the slightest that the band had managed to end up in the sauciest nightclub available. It was filled with dancing people in outfits not even I could top. I caught a quick glimpse of Larry with his very own conga before he was lost in the crowd. My body quaking in anticipation, I plunged into the sea of naked flesh. My body was overtaken by its natural urges. No wonder Bono wrote Mysterious Ways about me, I could teach that Morleigh Steinberg a thing or two on the dance floor. After a minute or two I found myself dancing against Bono, what a coincidence you may say… More like expert orienteering on my part. A brief moment passed before recognition flashed in his eyes and he realised the sexy man in front of him was in fact his very own record producer.

“Brian! You made it! Did you enjoy tonight’s show?”

“Marvelous as ever, my dear!” I replied, trying in vain to avert my naughty eyes from his alluring frame. He was wearing a black shirt with a great percentage of the buttons undone and dark jeans. The usual mischevious glint shone in his eyes and he grinned at me as we danced. My tongue was itching to lick the sweat off his neck so I licked my hand instead and wiped the slobber discretely on his shirt. My pelvis was frighteningly close to his. It was time to separate our nether regions before the snake stirred. I briskly disengaged. Bono appeared not to notice. He leaned closer to me, shouting to be heard above the racket of the squealing dancers and abhorrent music. “Let me get you a drink!”

I smiled graciously. “I would very much appreciate that, my dear. Thank you.” I believe that manners are a vital part of our society that are so often forgotten in these modern times where people don’t act grateful even when you invest your entire weekend into stalking them. Pondering this, I followed Bono in the direction of the bar, also trying my best to avoid being elbowed and jostled by rude people.

A firm hand grasped my naked wrist and pulled me away from the throng of gyrating bodies. I allowed myself to be swept away and pushed against the wall of the nightclub, staring straight into the lust-filled gaze of Adam Clayton. He cleared his throat then spoke, his voice deep and Posh. “Brian… There’s something I should have told you the moment we locked eyes in Slane Castle after we’d figured out the bass part in Boomerang II… Brian, please look at me, I’ve been hiding this for so long…even from myself.”

I wrenched my eyes from his soft lips and looked up into his glistening eyes. A single tear slid down his nose like a child on a water slide as he uttered the nine fateful words. “Brian…Brian I think I’m in love with you.”

I took his palms in my own slightly greasy hands and blinked lovingly at him. “My dear, you had to wait until you were ready, and I would wait a lifetime for you. You know that. Although that would be annoying and inconsiderate of you if you waited until I was older with less hair and not as sexually profficient as I am now-“ Here I was interupted right in the middle of my romantic warbling as Adam captured my gasping lips with his own, kissing me with a great passion. I reached out and held his tummy as we snogged.

Suddenly I felt someone tapping my shoulder. With a slurp, my mouth detached from Adam’s and I looked upon the intruder. It was Bono, a pint of lager in his hand and a jealous snarl on his face. He flicked the hair out of his eyes and two of my legs grew weak while the third (younger readers, I mean my dong) grew firm. I realised I was still clinging on to Adam’s tum. Bono clenched his jaw and spoke stiffly. “Adam I think you should recall our discussion. Brian is mine.”

Adam turned to face Bono. “Well it isn’t your stomach he’s holding on to so I think you should count your beans and fuck off.”

Bono looked at me, pain clouding his beautiful eyes. “Farewell my love. Remember me.”

I remembered him and resumed snogging Adam with eagerness.

_All facts recounted 113% accurately, my memory is sharp. If you enjoyed pls leave me a message and I might dig into my memory banks for some more lovely tales._


End file.
